Divorce and Parental Alienation: What You Need to Know

Though an amicable divorce is ideal, several factors can interfere with either party's ability or willingness to act in good faith toward the other. When a divorce involves children, one or both parents may begin to exhibit behavior that attempts, whether intentionally or not, to encourage an extreme, unhealthy divide between a child's two households, including attempts to turn the child against the other parent.

When a parent places severe pressure on a child to choose one parent, it can be recognized formally as parental alienation. To better understand this phenomenon, read on for answers to common questions about parental alienation and what it can mean for your divorce case.

What Is Parental Alienation?

Parental alienation is a term to describe actions taken by one parent that seek to inspire fearful, uncomfortable, unloving, or distant feelings in a child with regard to their other parent. This may manifest as accusations that the other parent does not truly love the child, that the other parent is unsafe, that the other parent is a bad or harmful person, or that the child will only be truly healthy and secure if he or she stays away from the other parent. 

These actions may be accompanied by rewards or punishments used with the child in order to solidify the alienation, such as negative reinforcement for statements or behaviors that the child exhibits that seem sympathetic toward the other parent and positive reinforcement when the child refuses to see or speak to the alienated parent.

What Are the Signs and Symptoms?

A child may have experienced undue pressure to reject or alienate one parent if he or she exhibits the following symptoms.

• A described or perceived alliance with the potentially alienating parent
• A lack of guilt about feelings of hostility toward the alienated parent
• An unexplained change in willingness to visit or see a parent
• An unwillingness to see extended family or friends of the alienated parent
• Black and white thinking about the perceived negative traits of the alienated parent
• Grandiose or lofty positive feelings toward the potentially alienating parent
• Increased hostility toward one parent
• The adoption of an extreme or irrational narrative to justify the child's hostility

In these cases, the child will often assert that he or she has come to these conclusions independently but may be unable to provide sound reasoning to explain the basis for his or her feelings.

What Is the Difference Between Estrangement and Alienation?

While alienation often has origins in irrational reasoning, estrangement typically has a reasonable foundation. Children who are estranged from one parent can point to rational justifications for their chosen distance, such as neglect, abuse, betrayal, or a lack of safety with the estranged parent. Parental alienation commonly involves manipulation, while estrangement has reasonable motivations.

How Does It Affect Children of Divorce?

Children who are subjected to attempts at parental alienation, successful or otherwise, exhibit psychological distress. They may experience anxiety about perceived abandonment, increased anger, mistrust of reality, binary thinking, codependency, behavioral problems, and trouble with relationships in adolescence and into adulthood. 

Are There Legal Consequences?

Parental alienation can interfere with an already determined custody order or with the determination of a custody order through a divorce process. Alienating parents may be found in contempt if the alienated parent can provide proof of an attempt to interfere with or deny his or her rights to custody or visitation with their children. 

In these cases, the courts will assess proposed evidence and consider the best interests of the children to determine whether a parent is responsible for willful alienation. The courts may modify custody or visitation, require the alienating parent to undergo psychological evaluation or mandate co-parenting counseling.

If you suspect parental alienation in your case, contact the Law Office Of Leonard Ernest Kerr for legal assistance to ensure your rights as a parent.